| tonight the head phones will deliever you the words that i can't say. |
[entries|friends|calendar] |
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| she says "be a man" |
[Saturday
June 17th, 2006
10:03pm ] |
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mood |
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 uncomfortable |
] |
Tell me dear, how could I make this more clear,
When I say this is forever and how is that so wrong,
Is it too much to ask to not be alone.
So what did I do wrong,
I'll take it back and start over again.
Well I fall asleep with you and I wake up alone,
and unwanted in your silence.
And I wish I could destroy you,
But instead I'll just adore you.
---
i feel like i continuously go in a circle with aaron.
and nothing ever makes sense.
he doesn't make sense.
how can you continuously say things like "how do i not care about you"
when its obvious, you show how amazing you are to every other girl.
and not me anymore. and it really hurts.
because it doesnt seem like he understands how much he underappreciates me.
when i would have done anything to make it work.
even though i told him today i want him out of my life.
what the fuck is wrong with me?
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| everything will be just fine. |
[Monday
January 9th, 2006
3:16pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
I finally realized that the only way that i can just let it all go is by pushing you totally out of my life for good. Because i realized the more i let you string me along the more it hurts. I feel my overall well being will come out if i just let you go. Because it seems that it is easier not to care at all than to even care in the slightest. Somehow you find my weaknesses and you use them against me to bring me back and it's becoming so unfair because you don't even care about me. you just keep me around for something to have and to be there. When really you like her now and not me and it would just be so much easier if you didnt randomly text me and call me baby and be all cute like you used to be. only to turn around and call her amazing. i want to hate you so bad. but i cant so i guess the easiest thing for me to do is just to forget it all completely and never speak to you again. because then it wont hurt so much.
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[Saturday
January 7th, 2006
9:43am ] |
I used to be love struck;
now I'm just fucked up.
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[Wednesday
December 7th, 2005
2:29pm ] |
Shoot my cupid out of the sky
Break off his wings and gouge out his eyes
And thank him for nothing,
'cause that's all that he gave to me
FUCK YOU!
:]
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| if you don't know then you won't |
[Wednesday
November 23rd, 2005
10:45pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
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panic! at the disco |
] |
if i told you this was killing me
would you stop
?
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| NYC |
[Thursday
November 10th, 2005
7:38pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 ecstatic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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holiday-tguk |
] |
I won't spend another day in this heart-attack city
It's messed up here and everything's money
Those well-heeled boys that think they're so funny
I left a note saying I'll be gone
---
i'll be gone for the weekend.
i'm sure i'll be thinking you,
and missing you most while i'm gone on holiday.
nyc + me & julie = amazing
♥
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| summer swallowed us whole. |
[Wednesday
October 26th, 2005
7:40pm ] |
|
things to do before decemeber 31st:
-roll around in the leaves
-play hide n seek
-fall in love
-not get hurt or left for another girl
-hold hands in the rain
-make snow angels
-improve my grades
-get a license
-dance in the rain
-build a snowman
-take pictures of you&me?
-get rid of mono
-spend more time with old friends
-visit home
-go to the ocean
-put up a christmas tree
-see my family
-make thanksgiving dinner
-finish community service
-stay drug free
-american eagle
-continue to fall asleep next to you
-bay city trips every weekend
-stay happy
i'll add more. :)
but this is my last post until i complete these things.
unless something super important comes up.
and if you can think of anything else i should add.
tell me. kthx.
<3
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| again i go unnoticed. |
[Wednesday
September 21st, 2005
12:15am ] |
Close lipped
another goodnight kiss
is robbed of all it's passion
your grip
another time is slack
it leaves me feeling empty.
=\
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| tonight is the night. |
[Friday
September 16th, 2005
6:57pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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starting line |
] |
Why'd you have to be so cute
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go
<3
friends is probably all we'll ever be.
cause its just my luck falling for you.
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| wishing i could smile. |
[Friday
August 26th, 2005
6:08pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 angry |
] |
| [ |
music |
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none. |
] |
i guess i will be in michigan til december 30th.
at least because i'm on probation.
and i have to be randomly drug tested every month.
and i have 8 hrs of community service.
and i have to get new friends.
and i have to spend more time with my mom.
and i have to live in michigan until probation is over.
and i have to get a job.
and i have to pay the court 35$ a month.
and a couple other things.
pretty much i hate life right now.
i honestly do not know how i got so fucked over.
just by driving a car without a license.
its fucking ridiculous.
:[ :[ :[ :[
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| best friends means nothing. |
[Saturday
August 20th, 2005
4:50pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nauseated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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your nothing to me. |
] |
a night like this is begging to pull me apart.
I played it quiet, left you deep in conversation.
I felt uncool and hung out around the kitchen.
I remember I kept thinking that I know you never would,
and now I know
I want to kill you like only a best friend could...
So don't apologize. I hope you choke and die.
Search your cell for something with which to hang yourself.
They say you need to pray if you want to go to heaven
but they don't tell you what to say
when your whole life has gone to hell..
and i can't let you let me down again.
So, is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with.
Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish.
I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids.
Have another drink and drive yourself home.
I hope there's ice on all the roads.
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt,
and again when your head goes through the windshield.
And is that what you call tact?
You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back.
So let's end this call, and end this conversation.
and is that what you call a getaway?
well tell me what you got away with.
cause you left the frays from the ties you severed
when you say best friends means friends forever
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| yep. |
[Thursday
April 7th, 2005
8:47pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
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yep |
] |
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